Tamil Village Girl

” Sorenson still looked like a ghost. “This your first stiff, Sorenson?” “Yeah. Just got out of the academy last month. Didn’t figure I’d get one so soon.” I clapped him on the shoulder. “First one’s a bitch. You’ll get over it.” I knew how Sorenson felt. Mine was thirty-one years ago, and I’d puked up the chilidog I had for lunch. He wouldn’t get over it, but there was no sense telling him that. He wouldn’t get over this one or any of the others he’d find during his career, assuming he stayed on until retirement. He only had a halfway reasonable chance of learning to live with it without getting divorced or crawling into a bottle. I wasn’t so lucky. I did both after five years on the street. It took eight months to wean myself off the bourbon, but there was no fixing the marriage. Mary couldn’t handle my moods and worrying all the time. Since Tony had seen fit to pass his last minutes just outside the back door of the bar, I figured that’d be a good place to start. Besides, it was. ”I looked at her and I could see the anguish in her face and I said, “What’s going on mom?”“I never thought I would tell you this,” she said, “but I’m stuck in my head and maybe this will let me out.” I had no idea where she was going with all of it. “I couldn’t stay with Carl anymore…because…” I never could understand why she was with ‘Old Carl,’ as I liked to call him to piss him off, except that he paid the bills.So I said, “I don’t blame you for dropping him mom; I never saw much affection between you anyway. You should have gotten out a long time ago.”She said, “Honey, it’s not about Carl, it’s about me. You’re right that I should have, except that, well, he took care of us and sent you to school.” I certainly didn’t judge her for that because I knew how difficult life was for her before he came along. Here’s where the conversation got weird. She said, “But the main reason was how I feel about you.”That didn’t compute and my face must have said, “What?” She went on. “i’ve been.
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